dXe | what - F.A.Q.

am i datexedge without ever even knowing it?

2005-02-17T21:07:00.001-05:00

maybe. just not dating doesn't make you dXe, exactly, because you could still be crying into your official 90210 pillow case over how jimmy didn't ask you to the blueberry harvest dance on friday night. being dXe means that you happily spend that friday night doing anything else, from sampling every eatery at the chippewa village mall food court with yr best pals to helping mom polish her gun collection to just reading a robertson davies book in your room alone. datexedge means you do whatever you want, with our without someone, just because.

i don't date, but i'm a total slut. not gonna sugar coat it, i like to get down. do i still get to be dXe?

2005-02-17T21:07:00.000-05:00

sir or ma'am, first let me say, mazel tov on your skillz. second, since you don't date or seem to give a shit about impressing anyone, anyway, then hell yes, you can wave the dXe banner with pride, as long as your freak flag doesn't take up the whole damn pole.

so does that mean married people are dXe?

2005-02-17T21:06:00.002-05:00

i've been married for 10 years and not only don't i date but i once had my s.o. clean me up when i ate bad shrimp and was a fucking excreta volcano all over the bathroom. so yeah...married people, dXe or not.

after much debate, we have decided to allow married people to join dXe. the reasons were two fold.
1, they aren't dating.
2, our married friends guilted us into including them because they are so tired of being stigmatized for being married.

why are your t-shirts so fucking expensive?

2005-02-17T21:06:00.001-05:00

lookit, you wanna print out our logo at home and iron it on so it falls off after three washes, rock on. but if you want a quality garment forged in the finest sweatshop, silk-screened by pros, with our very own tag sewn in down in beautiful bayridge, then you buy from the best.

why do you hate dating so much?

2005-02-17T21:06:00.000-05:00

we don't hate dating, per se. it's nice to get free food sometimes and learn new cures for the hiccups and make out on the futon display at kmart so you have a story to tell your friends the next day. what we hate, tho, is most everything else; endless phone check ins, pretending to like his/her friends from college, breaking up over im, etc. and for what, exactly? you can get make out without a boy/girlfriend, so that leaves...the free food? might as well just get the day-olds outside of bagel bob's instead, m'friend. be dxe-drive in the '05!

i am constructed of a generally loose moral fiber. can i claim datexedge to anyone willing to listen, and then, years later, after i have throngs of l

2005-02-17T21:05:00.001-05:00

we understand that it is sometimes difficult to battle yr biology, exspecially when free housing, hot new wheelz, or target charge cards are involved. if you must give in to your most base needs, do so quietly, and under the cloak of darkness. keep an open eye for the aggro convert wiff the baseball bat in the shrubs screaming sell-out, though - because s/he will get you in the crosshairs and take you down. our top suggestion would be for you not to claim dXe status in the first place, or to slut it up and remain date-free to keep the best of both worlds.

if you were to write a bio for datexedge that made it sound like a cryass, misogynist hardcore movement, what would it sound like?

2005-02-17T21:05:00.000-05:00

"datexedge orginiated, many moons ago, under the cloak of darkness, in a few hallowed vfw halls located in assorted lower-income areas of nassua county, ny. the movement was supported-n nurtured by many influential scene bands who have since tsunamied into a much-revered state of anonymity; the warped weeble wobbles, vision of disorder, closure, testsuo, halfman, state secedes, milhouse, tripface, mind over matter, neglect, and clockwise."