The lingo of the dXe universe

Monday, May 02, 2005

guyliner (n):

the only make-up for men (tm).
in a sentence:
whenever ts tells me she likes some dude, i just imagine a li'l man wearing lots of white, more accessories than my grandma, eyes completely circled in red or black guyliner. then i throw up.

throw the f (v):

the intimate situation immediately prior to, during and post sex-making.
in a sentence:
Darnell hadn't seen Aquanetta in years, but as soon as they reconnected that one day at Blimpies, he was ready to throw her the F and she was ready to catch it. Sadly, she also caught the herps.

"So it just struck me that "the eff toss" as a synonym for fucking suggests a correlate re-scripting of the word 'ineffable,' which of course means taboo as in not to be spoken, but from now on should clearly also mean taboo as in: 'red light man, cara has been crushing on that guy for months which means, for you, he is totally ineffable,' or, 'backhoe. ineffable.'"

[btw, backhoe is a term for when dudes attempt to fingerbang and end up tugging at yr junk in the manner of a backhoe tilling a field. duh?]

athlete's vagina (n):

infection of the vag, usually caused by sport fucking (see sponsored band section). aka althete's foot in yr camel toe against which tinactin is useless.
in a sentence:
m'zone felt totally raw, and i just knew that i'd gotten athlete's vagina, so i popped a tough workin' diflucan asap.

Friday, March 25, 2005

splurchases (plr. n.)

new word for overspending and buyers regret as we are the AUTHORITY ON THIS. see also: post-traumatic splurchase disorder (PT$D).
in a sentence:
i started this weekend with $200 legal tender, but after all those splurchases at jamba juice and h&m i am down to $12.81 to last me through thursday. somebody hold me as I am starting to sieze with PT$D and don't want to bite off my own tongue.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

mary kate (jeez...adjective?)

synonym for ok, or m'kay, or 10-4 good buddy, etc.
in a sentence:
mary kate, i'm down to eat at atlas, but only because it's tuesday which means they aren't out of boardwalk cake yet.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

heterosexual life partner, or hlp (n)

a best friend of either sex that you are very close with but have no sexual relations with. sort of like a best friend, but for grown ups, and a must-have for any dXe'er.
in a sentence:
when ts was eating dinner at barbra's, she couldn't help but remark to her hlp sb that she tasted a hint of lemon in the spinach. aka: plutonic [sic] life partner

ndn (we have no idea)

stands for "nice dude nice,"a affirmative statement.
in a sentence:
maysan made her special broccoli? ndn!

core team (n)

the group of friends that are your most solid and true.
in a sentence:
i didn't want to go to the bowl party cuz i felt sorta fluish, but when the core team said we could meet up before hand for snax, i could not refuse.

natch (adj)

a shortened way of saying "naturally." we know we didn't invent this, but we say it often and with flare.
in a sentence:
i would never patronize that establishment, natch! that's where paris hilton shops and i don't want crabs!

nutglider (n)

someone who rides to success by latching on to a far more ambitious, innovative party.
in a sentence:
between ripping off every other designer out there and nutgliding on lance's success, joey will probably be able to coast on the accomplishments of others til he hits the grave.

marlon blando (n)

a dude who looks rad but had nothing going on beyond the facade.
in a sentence:
ugh, i can't believe i made out with that marlon blando at slappy's booze'n'burgerateria hut. last time i combine barley and meats! no pun intendend, natch! see also: natch

seinfeld (n)

a man who cannot dress himself, much like jerry, who wore pleated pants, cinched bomber jackets, and tucked in oxford shirts for the show's entire 9 year run, ie, from when they were considered plain ugly to when they were out-of-fashionably ugly.
in a sentence:
man, if a dude isn't a hioty-toity graphic designer metrosexual fucktard, he's a seinfeld. where is the happy medium?

confronsation (n)

a combination confrontation and conversation, ie, a mild confrontation.
in a sentence:
i had a little confronsation with jenny to clear up those rumors about her dissing my hlp, and now everything's totally cool.

s.o. (n)

significant other.
in a sentence:
datexedge means saying n-o to the s.o.!

gf / bf (n)

girlfriend or boyfriend.
in a sentence:
f a gf or bf, i'm datexedge!

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