Open Letters Keep Us Together.

SB-

Greetings friend. Yr pal TS here. Just wanted to let you know that things are really shaping up over here in Kissimee-St. Cloud. I have been warmly welcomed into a caring circle of Christian Fundamentalist friends and just yesterday threw out all of my secular music in Gods Name.



I finally scored that position as Junior Assistant Manager at 99 Cent Dream - you know I had been lobbying for it for weeks! So I'm really psyched about that.



Gosh, thank the Good Lord for Uncle Ron and Aunt Brenda helping me to finance the Gremlin or I wouldn't have any way around town. I've included a picture of Ron with the car on the day we put down the first payment - it was so exciting!



My favorite part about Kissimee-St. Cloud is that I live right above Burger Notions -and I've been such a solid customer (three times a day; breakfast, lunch and dinner -natch) since my arrival that I now get every Big Value Cheeseburger Meal for half price. That adds up to some really great savings.



Must say though, I really do wish you were here. Let me know what's new in your life! Have you gotten to third base with Malik yet? If you can come visit, Uncle Ron recently found a sweet flight on airGORILLA - have you heard of it? He said it was really cheap and that they have a Pabst Blue Ribbon/Prawn Chips combo for $1.25. I know you don't drink and stuff, but I was thinking you might be able to snake some for me as a little pick-me-up after my long drive to the airport to get you.

As a sidenote, I have gained about 28 pounds. This week alone, that is.

Gotta hoof it to Bible study.

YRS IN CHRIST,
TS

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teet--

here in nyc lots of shit is going on i'm sure, seeing as this is the fucking center of the universe, but whatever, i've been holed up in my apartment watching my chosen one buffy boxset (40 dvds of pure dorking pleasure don't mess) and that pbs frontline special about those boys from shithole, ky. they have something in common in that a, both star people who are fundamentally doomed, b, both involve cameos by embarassing bands (lotion/the pastor's jesuspalooza all-star jesus hammer explosion whatever), and c, both have given me bad dreams. only the pbs show had a giant potbelly pig being dragged out from under a trailer home tho, while buffy has, like, 3 giant snakes and david boneranus or whatever, but he is kind of hog-like, so maybe they really are as one. long story short, nothing's really going on really except that i'm glad i'm from a blue state and that seth green aka oz is so small that prince could use him as a vibrator (quote emma 2006, tm).



as for the gossip, aw rootbeer ordered AND DRANK a tom collins and is the first person under 50/not-canadian to do so, so that made her a NY1 new yorker of the week, which was pretty cool. in the past 4 minutes, suz bought 8 new pairs of shoes.



oh and rory'll probably get back together with logan but now that i watch veronica mars i get really confused and sometimes think she's gonna reunite with a gaynotgay maybe-murderer who hands out scientology pamphlets by the freeway in real life. it's all too much to take. it's a wonder i can even walk the dog.



in a few weeks i'll be up in nh teaching militiamen to make baskets and live off the grid, so that should be rad. they pay pretty good.



bless this mess,
sb