my saturday july 9th, 2005 review

by sb, larry bird's program for penmanship special camper
my saturday july 9th was ok, although i spent most of it in a costco in brooklyn with a skinny guy named peaches who drives a truck, sails, can skateboard, and basically would give any billyburg girl, from the wenches in their boots'n'ruffles to the flashdancers who have removed the shoulders from all of their clothes, hugenormo boners and if he's not a friendster celebrity than i am a bad judge of the universe. anywho, i am immune to such tomfoolery and am holding out for another round of naked dissapointment til i meet a member of the tribe anyway, so i spent mucho time with peaches buying supplies for a big bbq the next day and listening to shitty music in his car, completely hard on-free. after all the excitement of strolling aisles filled with giant tubs of ketchup and boxes of 3000 tampons, it was all i could do to come home and walk buzzo to pick up my fave chicken rice bowl to recharge and watch made on my tivo. moments later tho, due either to the exhaustion of filling a bk hunk's trunk (tr'hunk?) with 150 hot dogs or eating a chicken rice bowl spiked with date rape powder, i fell asleep on my bed watching a movie and didn't wake up til ts called me to tell me that jess had a what's up matador cd on the ep of gilmore girls she was watching. in conclusion, i have wasted my life.