THE CHIRCH OF DOGZ, SISTERS, AND WHEELZ. DxE(.com) por vida.

datexedge is effin famxily

while sb and ts/teeter are the majority stock holders in dxe ltd (copyright dxe.com MMV in perpetuity throughout the universe), we do not opperate in a vacuum. here are some of the people behind the people that make dxe.com the google of the relationship-free set.

SISTERS!
sb and ts have 4 (four!) sisters between them-- ts has sis heath, sis aim, and sis chris, and sb has sis becca. 3 out of 4 siblings live in the empire state while one lives in the trunk of a pt cruiser and was somewhere on the other side of the country last we checked. sb and ts have no brothers, altho sb does have a he-friend (not in that way of course!) named sharif who is black, so he is technically a brother, but only technically, and even then not really because he went to an ivy league college.

DOGS!
ts has her dogs like her italian food, ie, family-style, so her pets are a shared custody situation with her parents and sibs. In ts's and the sisters sperberverse, all dawgs must be x-tra micro - like the size of a parking ticket or a t-mobile sidekick. Ts's most favoritest is wiggle puppy, a wiley 5 pound submissive urinator. Her least favoritest is miles, the destructive dawg equivalent of laurel zinn, who was the most nastiest dirty girl in all of shrewsbury school. sb, on the other hand, has her very own dog named king buzzo, aka buzzo, buzz, buddo, buzzerino the buzz pants, buhhhhz (like bud on the cosby show), and king piss. contrary to popular belief, buzz is not a fancy-pants poodle. he is instead a nappy pants mutt that adopted via petfinder 3 years ago who had so much hair from being homeless and living the thug life that he was listed as a baby girl. he was a grown-ass man! buzz has started a chapter of nah-dh-pla in sb's apartment (north american he-dog he-puppy love association) but so far the only taker is her parents' poodle woody allen who, thanks to buzz's occasional visits, has the cleanest dog penis on the east coast. buzzo totally completes sb and she misses his breath when they spend time apart. and yes, he also sings for the melvins, since you asked.

Ts would also like to make asn per usual natch note that the paragraph about buzzo is like ten scrillion wordz longer than the ones about wiggle puppy or stupid miles, but sb would ilke to clarify that this is because those are time share pets and buzzo is sb's full time adopted child, albeit one covered in fur who won't grow up to hate her and never call like all jewish sons everywhere.

(PLEASE NOTE: HEADS IN SHITTY POLAROIDS APPEAR LARGER THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE.)

WHEELZ!
sb has no wheels, just some old skateboards she is often to afraid to ride and many pairs of birkenstock pro clogs (in exotic euro colors). ts, on the other hand, is always on the go, in motion, and her collection of wheelz is as follows:

Teeter here, natch. I have not 1 but 2 skate toys called the long rider which were totes, like, x-tra garbagey when I procured them at a even more garbagey yard sale in frisco, colorado in 1998. They are like half an inch wide, room enuff fer only 1 foot and none if yr a big dude or woman wif huge feet. It has a flex plastic neck that scoopz into a handle that is way too small fer a fat hand like mine. If I could redesign this toy I would give it a sweet kicktail and a bigger handle, roomy enuff fer one whole fat hand, duh. I had to replace the crappy clay wheelz with krypto marshmallows, even though kryptos are kind of gay cause they orginally stemmed from a once {and still} 'tarted foundation of fruitbootery. Enter some black panther bearings that cost a grip {!} and teets one of like zero grate girl skateshredders in town.

I also dressed it up with an unbeetable decorative grip tape job. I am now the envy and headscratcher of every dude and woman in town, 'specially the real normal ones. Post 'pimpin my skatetoy' powerfixup, I can now waste practically any dude or woman in a race, cepta spacey-toofed greg goulet, who is one of my, like, 95 scrillion boy candidates in my noggin to build a life wif. He is wifout rival the most best dude or woman skateboarder I have even once ever known globally and into the universe and whatever. Snowshredder too, but not snowler-blader, cause that is totes uncool. Sometimes people on the subway are mind-boggled by my thrift score, the long rider, and wanna chit chat about it fer the whole ride. After 7 years of this, it makes me stampy and also makes me kind of hate said chit-chatty dude or woman.

I also support-n-represent roller skates {quads only, gaybladez # never} and soap shoes {stoops but rad zaps nonetheless} and kick scooters {haro only} and unicycles and beach cruisers with ginormodome seats fer huge butts, but only old ones, none of this new jack bogusness that's fer certain. In an alternate universe I would rep for those 3,000 bean stand up moto scooterz. {not even sb, queen of useless info, knows what these are called.} but I am presently and will forever be a broke motor-mouthed style scrapper, roaming the meanstreets alone under the cloak of darkness, my silver flask and a pocket knife in hand. Wheelz, my man. In motion anytime is # x-cellent. And so it was effin written, spanky.

sb would like to note who ts' description of her wheelz is about 923394 times longer than sb's ode to king buzzo, and buzzo has a soul while her scoots do not, and ts would like to remind her that she can suck it.

-ts/sb